In everyday life, we find people who criticize us for who we’re, how we look like, where we come from, or how we behave. In these criticisms, we sometimes face what is called “constructive criticism” and that has a lot to do with helping us find our weaknesses and looking into ways of avoiding it in future. It also helps us grow as an individual. On the contrary, we sometimes face what is called “destructive criticism” and that is usually directed toward things we can’t change, and it’s there to hurt than to help. We often find people around us who might tell us we’re wrong, or we look bad, or we’re not as smart as they are, or maybe our hair color and the way we talk are funny, or we’re not as cool. We all have probably experienced that in different shapes and forms, and I think and after years of experience I can confidentially say it all depends on how we look at it or react back to these disapprovals of oneself, whether constructive or destructive. It can either break us into pieces or make us stronger individuals able to face the challenges of today’s world.
In the following paragraphs, I’d like to lay down for you the steps suggested by a book entitled “You Can Handle Criticism and Rejection” written for teenagers by ‘Joe Berry’ from the “Winning Skills Book” series. It highlights some methods or steps that we can take with regards to constructive and destructive criticism and rejection. Dealing with constructive criticism requires the following five steps to help us benefit from it and become better individuals.
- Listen carefully while we’re being criticized
- Thank the person who has criticized us
- Carefully consider the criticism we have received
- Decide what you need to do about the criticism
- Follow through with whatever we have decided to do
Dealing with destructive criticism requires the following four steps to help us get over it and not to let it take advantage of us.
- Let the person who is criticizing us know that his or her destructive criticism is unacceptable
- Tell the person who is criticizing us how the criticism makes us feel
- Stop listening to the criticism
- Put the criticism aside
Feeling rejected can make us feel unloved or unwanted. It can quickly drop down our self-confidence. This can directly impact our performance and activity in our everyday life. It can be minimized by following the below four steps ( as described in the book ).
- Remember that we are human beings and, even though we are not perfect, we are still valuable
- Remember, it’s the person who rejects us -not us- who has the problems
- Avoid being around any people who reject us
- Spend time with people who like and appreciate us
It all starts by taking the first step trying to make a difference. It can be tough in the beginning but trust me; it will be very rewarding by the end.
– better individual for a better society –